I have become accustomed to a certain level of convenience
when it comes to my big monthly expenditures. My rent, my utilities, and my
cable are all due at the same time each month. This means that by remembering
to pay even one of them I remember to pay all of them. Their due date is in the
next few days so today I took it upon myself to get everything all paid up.
I would say that I am fairly meticulous and compulsive when
it comes to managing my finances. I find that consistency in how I do it keeps
me from making silly mistakes or being forgetful.
I started by ensuring there was money in my account. (This
is essential to paying bills)
I then gathered up the bills. (You have to have bills to pay
them)
I wrote out checks for all my bills and matched them up in
return envelopes with their respective bills making sure to balance my check
ledger.
Here is where my system has a bit of a flaw.
The day of the week is not constant from month to month with
respect to the numerical day of the month. Last month the third was a Thursday and
this month it is a Saturday. As such, I cannot always pay my bills in person;
but sometimes I can.
Because I can pay bills in person, I don’t take the time
initially to return address or stamp the envelopes.
I went out and dropped the cable bill off. (No need to mail
it)
I was off to a good start. A big smile was spread across my
face. I was driving around with the windows down enjoying this oddly warm
December afternoon. (It was in the 60’s [Farenheit] today)
I could not pay the utility bill in person. That’s no
problem. I had a pen and a booklet of stamps ready.
I pulled up to one of those blue post office drop boxes.
I pulled out the bill.
Made sure the check was correct.
Licked and sealed the envelope.
I picked up the pen and stamps and got ready to write my
address.
I zoned out.
I promptly turned and tossed the sealed envelope into the
bin without a thought and drove away full of self-satisfaction at successfully functioning
as an adult for yet another month.
I proceeded to correctly pay my rent without any issue. As I
pulled out of the property management lot, it suddenly dawned upon me what I
had done.
Did I really just throw an unstamped letter into a bin with
no return address?
Yes…Yes I did.
Well, I thought to myself, I think I’d get in trouble if I
broke into the bin and got my letter back to correct my error. I know, I’ll go
to the post office and explain to them my plight. I’ll flash a warm smile,
explain what happened, and they will fix it.
So I did.
They were closed.
So I went to the other post office in town.
They were open…for another 6 minutes. (Who closes at noon?)
So I got in the obscenely long line to wait and ask my
question.
I don’t know if this is a universal truth to post offices,
but I found that all the patrons
with whom I waited were strange people.
Physical appearance aside, they were some odd characters.
After 3 minutes, the woman in front of me became very
insistent that I had arrived at the post office before her. (I hadn’t.)
She also let the woman behind me in front of her because she
“looked like she was with me.”
The woman behind me was an odd obese, unhealthy-looking,
middle-aged woman whose posture had suffered over the years of supporting
excess weight.
She came in alone and spent the time in line saying (to
nobody in particular) that she just needed to get her envelope stamped.
I made the assumption that she wasn’t entirely aware.
I was wrong.
I had spaced out once again. (Today was not a particularly
cognizant day for me)
I was planning in my head wondering if it would frighten a
postal worker if I stalked the postage drop waiting for their pickup time to
ask them if I could have my letter back to stamp and address it.
Anyway, apparently the line had moved up a person amidst my
musings. I was shaken from my pensive state by the feeling of a very pudgy
finger breaking my personal space and squishing into my side.
After a series of these incidents I would come to understand
that she would not be satiated unless I actively encroached into the personal
space of the person in front of me as much as she had into mine.
I finally got to the front and they told me that it would be
delivered anyway and they would bill the recipient for the postage I forgot…and
that the recipient would pass it to on to me.
Now the waiting game starts. If I get a shutoff notice from
the utility company, then my letter never arrived and I’ll have to cut another
check. Otherwise it’s safe to assume that everything worked out.
